Week 7

I have never be one who enjoys working with a group because there are always issues and conflict even if  you try and avoid them. Also it probably does not help when I have had some bad experiences when working in a group. But in life it is necessary to work in groups whether it is a school project, club activities or working on a project for your job. One problem is communication sometime only one person is communicating with the group or no one is until the very last minute. But along with working in groups, communication is all so essential in life. Inorder to successful the lines of communication have to be open and free of judgement. This does not always happens because we do not live in a ideal world. Another aspect to have a successful group is making sure everyone has a task and are doing their part along with being one time with deadlines. Another thing to keep thing running smoothly is having a positive atmosphere for everyone which will make for happy group members and allows individuals to feel free to say an idea which can be a good one for whatever the project the groups is working without making them feel insecure about sharing. Knowing this traits to create a successful group it can help make thing run smooth with the next group project I have to work on.

Week 6

I am a person who tries to solve problems on my own with little to no help at all so working with others can be somewhat of a challenge when other members of the group do not know how I operate and can frustrate them along with causing friction. When I attend one of the confidences, there was a session about conflict styles. Everyone filled out a worksheet reading statements and rating them 1 - 5. On the back  there was a section with each conflict style along with what letters on the front page coincide with the particular style. After adding all it up the one with the most points was your strongest still and the one with the lowest was your weakest style. The first time I took it my top two styles were compromise and avoid then with I took it again about two weeks later it was compromise and collaborating. It was surprise to me that my styles can change then when I said my styles have changed to another peer they said it probably change with the situations I am in at a particular time. It was also interesting discussing the advantages and disadvantages of each style along with how it may frustrate someone who's strength is not the same as yours and vice versa. Another aspect I need really thought about is how each style may be more beneficial than the other even when one of those styles is not my strength. Conflict is never easy, but when you understand different styles and how to work with those style is can be easier to navigate the waters.

Week 5

Reading chapter four it the book the on thing the stood out to me the most was the defense between interpersonal communication and advice giving. Because we someone is seeking help to understand something or help figuring what they want to do with their life or whether they should A or B was all advice and that is what the person asking for help was wanting. But when you start stepping into authoritative  role like a peer mentor you have to separate when you should be giving advice and when you should be using interpersonal communication because advice is based on personal experiences and you are giving your opinion which is not always the best. Being a peer mentor is your job to help your students figure things our on their own, but ask helpful questions which will make them think deeper and draw connections on their own. Also sometime they just need someone who is neutral to vent to or bounce ideas off. When thinking of the difference of interpersonal communication and advice giving my grandma comes to mind. Even without knowing the correct terminology or flipping a switch she automatically does this on our weekly phone calls. There are sometime I will talk and talk and talk until the end of whatever is on my mind has been exhausted then an aha moment happens then a say something which would be something she would say. And by reading this chapter it has helped me understand the different and identify someone in my life who uses both styles of listening.

Week 4

The two sessions I enjoyed the most at last Friday's leadership conference was "Taking a Sit Out of Diversity" and "Heathy Relationships and Communication Styles." They were both enlightening and made me take a step back. 

The diversity session was interesting because everyone is diverse in their own way along with learning different ice breakers. It was interesting to see with a group of individual who are primarily white and from the midwest and yet we were extremely diverse. And that just because two people can go through the same situation or event, but still have an different experiences and affect them in their own personal way. One of the ice breakers was inner and outer circle where people are face to face answering question, but it was more like speed dating with question that make you take a step back and think. 

Healthy Relationships and Communication Styles was a great way to learn different ways to communicate to a mentee in tough situations. Also we talked about where the lines it to how much we can help out before going and getting a professional or someone with more training. And with every situation when talking to  someone seeking your help is to ask open-ended questions not close-ended ones to help you better understand the situation. 

Week 3

I had a great time attending the ISLE conference yesterday. I came out with many different ways to view the world and how to focus on improving myself as a person and leader.  The sessions where I got the most information out of was the Keynote session with Delatorro and his follow-up session after. Throughout both sessions Del had many memorable quotes that hit home with me.

“To lead others you must first lead yourself.”

“A lion doesn’t have to roar to prove that he is a lion.”

“If two people are the same one is not necessary.”

“All success begins in the mind. It starts with the way you think.”

“Eagles fly alone or they fly with other eagles.”

These five quotes say a lot about how you should become a leader and be an effective one. My favorite on is “Eagles fly alone or they fly with other eagles.” Meaning the leads sometimes have to stand on their own to feet for what they believe even if it is by themselves. And that you should surround yourself with other leaders who have a vision to successes and not with individuals who seek blame because all they are going to do is hold you back.

Other things I gained from the conference were to define what success means to me and create a vision board or book. I love the idea of creating a vision board for me to see on a daily basis to help define what is important to me, what areas I was to succeed in and what I can approve on. I believe this to be a great project to do next semester with 2012 Hixsons and I plan on creating one next weekend.

Week 2

This past week we talked about strengths and weaknesses along with identifying what challenges a new freshmen will face. So I got me thinking of what challenges I am facing now. I guess the really big thing that is changing for me is facing the music of growing up. Meaning that with in the next year I have some pretty big decisions to make like do I stay until May 2013, go to law school and where, and reevaluating some friendship that may not be in best interest or health. When we graduated high school we knew that college was the next step therefore you have at least four sometimes five more years to put of growing up. Don't get me wrong college is a major deicision, but you had a directions to go to whereas graduating college you really don't.

The big reason why graduating college is different is because you really do have something or someone to guide you are say "this is what you are doing." Sure you have mentors, advisers, counselors, etc. to help you put the decision(s) is are ultimately up to you and what will make you happy or work best for you in the end. College is a transition period for one to help create you they are or want to be, right? Well one could say that you could see me starting to grow up an come into my own and not be sooo worried about what other people think of me and making sure they are happy. This starting line was changing my major for apparel merchandising and trying to find a major that fine for me and what will make me happy and not anyone else.

It is funny would people come to me for adivse which I make not want to shallow myself, but I finally decide that I should take my own medicine that is when I start changing this even more. I have notice with this year that I am taking my own advise making changes that not everyone will agree. Bring me to that my point about reevaluating my some of my friendships especially when you were really good friends at the start of college and now you are at odds because both of you have change and are no longer compatible. This makes it hard because you know that both of you have grown apart for whatever reason and just have to accept that fact. I funny how and that the time I was having a really hard time that was an article posted to one of the blogs I follow. (here is the link if you want to read it: http://www.collegefashion.net/college-life/growing-up-out-dealing-with-changing-social-circles/) It helped me realize that people do change and move on and that it is a little sad that they are no long in your life, but that maybe a reason why and only you will be about to pin point it. But this apart of life and growing up. Which basically sucks, but it helps you to discover what people you want in your life or not.

This post may or may not really have to do anything for the class, but also did say that we talked about strengths and weakness right? Well one of my weaknesses is opening up to people and communication how I am feeling. This blog post is my starting point for facing my weaknesses because facing them will help me grow as a person and hopefully make me a better peer mentor. If I able to show just one person how I have struggled and over come challenges in life to giving them the courage I will. Because showing someone that whatever challenge or issue you have faced and over come can is all the person needs for them to find their own strength and know that everything will be okay in the end.

Week 1

I have know since day one of me receiving the congratulations letter for being selected as a recipient of the Hixson Opportunity Award that I would be a peer mentor. I love the fact the program takes great care of all their scholarships students whether it be helping them transition for high school to college or becoming a peer mentor and being a role model for new students. While reading the first couple of chapters of our Students Helping Students book I can identify with what was being said, especial chapter two. Everyone matures and goes through changes at different rates, some faster than other.  And a lot of time the one who want to be peer mentors in anyway they can are the one that, for lack of a better term, "grow-up" faster because of the situations they put themselves in to challenging situation to develop skills to be a more effective mentor. I also enjoyed the fact the book gave us  five key principles of human development that will help me grow as a person and understand them better when the time comes for me to implement them with mentoring the 2012 Hixson class. 

Another reason I really related and enjoyed chapter two is that I felt like I was reading something I have be taught my how life. My father has always taught me to put myself in other people's shoe to better understand where they are coming from or reacting to a situation. He taught me this because it helps you relate to the person easier and to developing an more effective solution to  a situation. I guess this lesson in many ways has been the reason why I tend to gravitate to leadership roles and having people coming to me for advice because I just naturally put things into perpective, good or bad, and will get whatever done to move forward and past obstacles that arise in any situation.

I love reading books like this because it helps me challenge myself as a person and enjoy learning new ways to grow into to the person I want to be.